6. Pretzels 2025

The idea for this blog came to me when I was trying to sleep last night, and my brain decided to replay the most embarrassing moments of my life right when I was about to fall asleep. It left me wondering as to what causes this and why does it happen during times that we are trying to rest. The first pattern that I noticed was this happened especially at night or whenever our minds decided to drift off into space. Neurologically, it is the amygdala’s fault which is the part of your brain that controls emotions like fear and shame. When we relax, we let our guards down, allowing for these emotional memories to come swirling back in to remind yourself that you have made embarrassing mistakes before (if only I could have this good of a memory when I am taking a test). Wanna test my theory. Close your eyes right now and let your guard down. You’ll suddenly remember all the embarrassing moments in your life like when you said “You too” to a waiter that brought you your food or that time whe...

On the last day of every school year from kindergarten to third grade (and once at the end of our second-grade performance of The Nutcracker), my mom would press a small gray digital Nikon camera into my little hands and tell me to ask someone to take a picture of me with my classmates or my teacher–“for the memories.”  In our high school days of cellphones, pictures have become as uncomplicated as they are necessary, from quick selfies to entire class photos–definitely not the ordeal my mind made them to be. As a child, though, I was mortified to ask this of someone, though I dutifully carried out my mother’s instructions and would take back the camera with a quiet but earnest thank-you and tuck it away in my backpack, ears burning. In retrospect, what probably felt weird was not being able to share said photos with anyone, since it was always the last day and no one knew anyone’s contacts.  Those photos were uploaded and now reside somewhere in the depths of a digital photo ...

  So we had this Calc BC mock test last weekend, and there was a ton of questions on Taylor and Mclaurin and whatever series. I genuinely just can’t remember them no matter how hard I try. I stared at them this entire morning while eating breakfast and I still was not 100% sure about them on our math test today.  Credit: Magoosh But you know what I can remember? ALL THE DIFFERENT POLES AND STICKS THAT YOU FIND IN DIFFERENT COUNTRIES!!!! Just kidding. I don’t know most of them (I used to remember most of them when I played Geoguessr for a living) but I seem to have an easier time remembering these in comparison to math formulas. It’s a little annoying that I can’t memorize the things I NEED to memorize but the poles and sticks from Geoguessr just seem to implant themselves in my brain.  For example, Polish poles have these types of round oval holes in their poles. And Hungary and Romania also have large holes in their poles (Romania’s are often painted white on the bottom...

Lying in bed scrolling through Instagram reels continues to be one of my favorite “escapades” in the middle of the night when I know I should instead be asleep. Instead, the scenario often plays out like this: I happily scroll away, I get distracted by one embarrassing event that happened ten years ago, I stop scrolling and create a fake “replay” where that event would never occur. My friends laugh when I recount such awkward moments to them, but I never understood why I would only remember those mortifying times like when I thought I was the smartest genius ever and raised my hand enthusiastically only to continuously jumble my words after getting called on. In every person’s mind, they are always imperfect, making mistakes that no one else really remembers (which I found out after consulting multiple friends after one of those embarrassing events). Embarrassed Student Raising Her Hand How could I possibly avoid these awkward situations where I am forced to cope with these unbelievabl...

Flashing red lights. The smell of smoke and oil and machinery hangs in the air. An angry alarm blares, the words “Photon torpedo hit taken to the starboard helm. Oxygen supplies at a critical level” repeated out of a monotonous, robotic speaker as people in uniforms of red and blue and yellow scamper about. What’s this? I can’t possibly be aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise … Running through a vivid field of flowers, the long hem of a dress drags through the rough stems, bare feet pressing against the plush, verdant grass. Where am I? The brilliant hues of the flora blur in what seems to be an endless continuation of red and blue and yellow and… “Thus, using the properties of the area of a square, the Pythagorean Theorem is hence proved.” Red marker for the inside square. Blue for the outer. a 2 + b 2 = c 2 highlighted in fluorescent yellow. There is no way she’s testing us on this unit next week… “This is the captain speaking. I want all hands on deck! I repeat, all hands on deck!” Cheek...

  Hair holds memories.  No, don’t worry, you will not be hearing about Max’s freshmen year hair again in this blog (this is a reference to my week 14 blog, everyone please go take a look at page 87 or smth idk in 2022-2023 yearbook to see Max’s photo if you haven't yet). Similar to clothing, hair is a fun accessory that can be used to express oneself. With different styles, colors, and lengths, hair can be used to show one’s creativity and individuality. But hair carries something that is much heavier than just fashion; it represents the different stages of growth one undergoes in their lifetime.  Oftentimes, people get a new haircut when starting a new chapter in their life. Hair holds on to past experiences; therefore, cutting off your hair after a big change—whether that is going through a breakup or starting a new job—can feel freeing. Getting a major hair change could also mean embracing a new chapter, or a challenge in life.  Cancer patients shave their head du...

  Is this just me, or do some smells bring back memories? Not like a general feeling of it, but like exactly where you were and what you were doing? It’s weird how powerful scent is and how it impacts our memories. I don’t think about some memories for years, and then from one smell it brings it all back like the memory always stuck with me. Smoke The smell of smoke always takes me back to 2017. During my 1st degree black belt test, I had to run a mile outside (for the fitness portion) at midnight while smoke from the Napa Valley fire filled the air. Everyone was wheezing and suffocating, but we still had to finish the run. My instructor literally said “No pain, no gain,” and to just push through. This is one of my core memories in martial arts and showed me the amount of discipline needed in order to truly say that you are a black belt. That smell has stuck with me ever since. Every time I smell smoke, I remember how hard that mile felt. And I made it through anyway. Christmas!!...